Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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