sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
