I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
