Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
