He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
