At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
