He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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