its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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