Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
