Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
