What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
