I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Actions speak louder than pants.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
