she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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