don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
