she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
