You made me cry and you don't even care
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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