you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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