i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
