Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
