hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
