They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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