no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
