Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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