I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
...so i touched it.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
