I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
