did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
