I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
