He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
