I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it was like eating out sand paper
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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