Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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