Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
