even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Enjoy the penises
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
