You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
