after a month anything with tits is on the radar
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
