Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
