I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
