wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Randomize
