Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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