he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Someone came in the potted fern
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i now understand why vodka
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
