I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
