We won't sleep together?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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