I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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