How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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