tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This toilet bowl is my home.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
