so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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