Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i was born a porn star she said
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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