I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
