Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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