i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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