I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
