Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
