Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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