My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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