And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
