I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
